One of my idols is Julia Child. Brilliant cook and charismatic personality, of course she was. She was also tall and gawky and quite homely. She bloomed late in life, doing nothing of public note for the first fifty of her many years and not exploring romance until her mid-thirties. She stumbled onto the passion […]

I, like everyone who is currently, or has ever been, an adolescent, am convinced that the world just doesn’t UNDERSTAND me. One of my main points of pique is that I am convinced that I have a reputation for being a rabid man-hater. The hurtful-truth part of this conviction is that it is not without […]

Burlesque gloriously celebrates the art, the performance, and the subversion in the embrace of sexuality. It’s an opportunity for women to kick off some of the social expectations and oppressions that society at large has about female power, expression, and sex. It’s also huge fun. It’s exhilarating to create exactly the appearance and presentation that […]

I started writing this piece with the idea that I would talk about late-night, post-show eats in Denver. As I wrote, I realized that I was writing specifically about pizza by the slice. As I wrote even more, it became clear that I was really just venting about my sex life. It would seem that […]

Our great literary lights are very often, shall we say, “lacking in superfluous vigor”? So many have been indoorsy, reclusive navel-gazers, with biceps as thin as their pencils and a severe tendency to dwell in their fevered imaginations. Nobody would mistake Charles Dickens for an outdoorsman or Herman Melville for a great party guest. Stephen […]

Serendipity strikes when you least expect it. I haven’t talked much about my “muggle” job in these columns because it’s far less interesting than my “unicorn” life. I do laboratory diagnostics for an acute care hospital. It’s a critically important job, it’s more complicated than you might think, and it has the potential to be […]

I confess that I do not care for computer-generated special effects.  Sure, they’re spectacular to look at (see: ninety percent of the last Star Wars). The tremendous skill required and technical execution are impressive.  They’re so good that you couldn’t even tell that they were there if it weren’t for the implausibility of the final […]

The time has come for me to confess to you, dear readers, that I have a massive, unrequited crush on someone. That someone is Professor Phelyx, mentalist, entertainer, artist, and professional gentleman. I met him a few years ago when I was a backstage newbie and terribly nervous about how unqualified I was. Phelyx took […]

I’ve lived as a female for decades now, yet mastery of feminine wiles still eludes me. Take makeup. I’m not good at it. When appearing as myself, I err on the side of “nothing” rather than make an error of burlesque proportions. When appearing in burlesque, it sometimes looks like I’ve applied bronzer with a […]

Someday, when I’m rich and famous, I’ll have my own dressing room with a responsive thermostat and at least 35 watts of lighting. Until then, I’ll continue to prep for burlesque and comedy shows in a variety of dim, crowded green rooms that seasonally vacillate between frigid and sweltering. If these tiny purgatories didn’t contain […]