Thursday - June 21, 2018
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Archive for the ‘ Movies ’ Category

 

Superhero Fatigue? Pshaw!

June 17th, 2018
Incredibles 2

I’ve seen Avengers: Infinity War three times. While the fandom of some folks leans toward Doctor Who, Lord of the Rings, or Star Wars, I’ve always been a Marvel Zombie. As a small child, I partially learned to read from the comics, and the characters helped me develop what passes for a moral code. But there’s one thing that’s nagged at me ever since Iron Man was released — do these films absolutely have to be live action? Consider the aforementioned Infinity War. According to the Wall Street Journal, the most recent installment in the Marvel Cinematic Universe had a production budget... Read More

The Atrocity Exhibition

June 10th, 2018
Hereditary

When Rick* and his wife Lisa checked the voicemail, there was nothing, only silence. Rick thought nothing of it, until getting a phone call later from his father-in-law. He said to Lisa, “I want you to talk to your mother.” Her mother had slurred speech, and she had no idea what day it was. They rushed over, and took Lisa’s mother to the ER. The tentative diagnosis was that she’d had a stroke. While she recovered, Rick and Lisa took it upon themselves to clean up their parents’ home. They found evidence of sizable hoarding. A couch covered with junkmail. Stacks of VHS tapes. Empty bottles,... Read More

A B Minus B-Movie

June 3rd, 2018
Upgrade

B-movies aren’t really a thing, any longer. On the other hand, they’re absolutely a thing. Back in the day, a b-movie was the second movie on a double bill. They generally were mid to low-budget and didn’t have stars, but generally did have copious amounts of gore, nudity, violence, or all of the above. Also, b-movies were usually genre fare, so you’d see them in the sci-fi, action, horror, western, exploitation, or crime areas of the movie world. The trap that people fall into sometimes is assuming that a b-movie is either: Made incompetently, like the work of Ed Wood Made with an eye... Read More

I Have a Moderately Good Feeling About This

May 27th, 2018

Just when I thought I was done with Star Wars, The Last Jedi pulled me back in. As a kid, Star Wars and The Empire Strikes Back were right on my wavelength — or I was on theirs. Then, I saw Return of the Jedi, and in one of the first times as a neophyte filmgoer, I had to grapple with disappointment. That was when I started to move away from the Force. Years go by. George Lucas makes the first of his infamous Prequels and, like a jackass, I stood in line in Seattle to see The Phantom Menace. Did I walk out of the theater and boldly proclaim that it sucked? I did not. I made excuses for it, for... Read More

Return of the Regenerating Degenerate

May 20th, 2018

To enjoy the character of Deadpool, you have to be able to get into his very particular rhythm. If not? Well, I’ll explain with a (thankfully) brief anecdote. My wife is an introvert. Sure, she can smile, make small talk, and have a genuine and warm conversation. She excels in pretending she likes the majority of people. We get home, though? She double locks the door, barricades the windows, and gives thanks to Jesus, Buddha, and Amen Ra that she only has to deal with a handful of people who aren’t wildly annoying. As a result, she barely sees movies with me. It was no surprise that in 2016,... Read More

This Mother’s Day, Give Her the Gift of Robbery

May 13th, 2018

All of us have movies that, through their cinematic magic, burn themselves into our memories. The “how am I funny” scene from Goodfellas. The graduate level screwball comedy of Clue. The wrenching third act of Avengers: Infinity War. Even if you’re not a film nerd like me, I’m willing to bet copious amounts of folding money that there’s a film out there that took root in your brain. Most movies aren’t like that, though. In 2016, over 700 films were released theatrically in American theaters. That number doesn’t take into consideration streaming platforms like Netflix and Hulu that... Read More

It’s Hard Out Here For A Mom

May 6th, 2018

To my mind, one of the most annoying phrases floating around is, “We’re having a baby.” This line is frequently delivered by the soon-to-be dad. He often wears a chipper and confidently oblivious expression on his face. Upon hearing this, the soon-to-be mom usually grits her teeth a little, as if to say, “We are having a baby? We are doing no such thing.” She thinks a moment about punching her partner in his stupid face, but the moment passes. Usually. Parenthood, both pre and post-birth, is a parade of horrors. I say that as a parent who dearly loves his son who’s a precious miracle... Read More

A Group of Remarkable People

April 29th, 2018

When it comes to cinema, we’re living in an age of marvels. Take the long view for a moment, and consider that with theatrical releases and streaming platforms, we have access to a wider and deeper selection of films than at any point in human history. You can immerse yourself in independent films, catch up on old classics, watch virtually whatever you want whenever you want. To say that there are no good movies anymore is wildly inaccurate, you just have to work a little to find them. That concept also means that, increasingly, the theatrical experience is reserved for blockbusters. You know... Read More

The Boarding House Is Burning

April 22nd, 2018

Let’s take a moment to consider just how much it must suck to be an actor of Middle-Eastern ethnicity in Hollywood. You’ve spent a fortune on headshots, spent even more on acting classes, and you’re ready to tackle the big time. There’s just one problem, and I know you know what it is. Everybody wants you to play a terrorist. Maybe you’re apolitical, and you simply want to tackle some challenging material or star in a Marvel movie. Maybe you believe in representation, and you want to show that a person that originally has roots in the Middle East can play…well…anyone.* But... Read More

Once Upon A Prom Night

April 15th, 2018

I’m writing this from the great state of Colorado. During my life, I’ve spent time in Texas, Washington, Connecticut, Maryland, and traveled through most of the United States. While I’ve enjoyed a lot of America, I’m partial to Colorado. Can you blame me? Our climate is pleasant with lots of sunny days. We have a wide variety of culinary delights. Outdoorsy activities like skiing, hiking, and rock climbing are close by and plentiful. There’s not much to complain about.* You know what I’m particularly fond of? Our state government frequently does smart stuff. One of my favorites is a... Read More