Friday - October 19, 2018
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Archive for the ‘ Movies ’ Category

 

Symbi-Nope: Local Movie Reviewer Takes on Venom

October 14th, 2018
Venom

Folks, I’d like to apologize up front for this review of Venom. To put things into context, we’re going to have to make a deep dive into nerdery. I know! I can hear your eyes rolling from here. We’ll make this quick, I promise. In 1988, The Amazing Spider-Man #300 was published.* That comic book introduced Venom, an enemy of the wall-crawler. Built like a weightlifter and utterly vicious, he’s got the same powers as ya boi Spidey, along with extremely flexible morals. Totally unsurprisingly, the character was an instant hit, beloved by edgelords** before edgelords were a thing. But isn’t... Read More

Twelve Notes – Local Movie Reviewer Explores the New Remake “A Star is Born”

October 7th, 2018
A Star is Born

One of the old Hollywood legends is about the genesis of 1937’s A Star Is Born. Allegedly, it was not-so-secretly about the relationship between Barbara Stanwyck and Frank Fay. While Fay was a success on Broadway, his film career fizzled. Stanwyck became a massive film star, and Fay worked out his resentment of her through alcoholism and physical abuse. For a while, that was the template for these remakes, that of the meteoric rise of the ingènue and the corresponding fall of the has-been. That tells us that, at the end of the day, there aren’t that many stories. In Christopher Booker’s... Read More

The Review With the Unnecessarily Long Title

September 30th, 2018
the house with a clock in its walls

There’s this friend of mine — we’ll call her Polly — who absolutely despises horror movies. Can’t handle them. Not only does she see no artistic merit to them whatsoever, but she also doesn’t enjoy the cinematic experience of being scared. Those intense feelings toward horror cinema have been transferred to Polly’s oldest son. Not only does she refuse to let him watch scary movies, she won’t let him view content with even a hint of the macabre. Let’s be clear, I’m not suggesting she should gather the family around the TV for a double feature of The Exorcist and The Shining.... Read More

The Most Terrible Poverty is Loneliness – Local Movie Reviewer Takes on A Simple Favor

September 23rd, 2018
A Simple Favor

What’s the point of consistently stepping outside our comfort zones? It’s healthy to stretch yourself. Most of us have been encouraged/yelled at by our parents to try new experiences, eat new delicacies, go to new places. By doing that, we get smarter, more empathetic, more sophisticated. When filmmakers stretch themselves? That’s the good stuff. That’s when you have the chance to see something unique. Take Adam McKay for example. As a close friend of Will Ferrell’s, his directorial career began with films like Anchorman and Step Brothers, comedies that walked a fine line between surrealism... Read More

Why? Because They’re Dumb – Local Movie Reviewer Takes on Predator

September 16th, 2018
Predator

On the cinematic Venn diagram, there can be an awful lot of overlap between a great movie and an awesome movie. Before we go too much further, let me stake out what I mean by that. A great movie is one with impressive production design, acting, screenwriting, and direction — essentially all the ingredients have been baked in to give us a film of quality. Apollo 13 is a great movie, as is Monster and Deliverance. An awesome movie, on the other hand? That’s a movie that directly tickles our reptile brain, delivering a thrill, a joke, something purely designed to elicit an immediate response.... Read More

Horrible Selfish People – a Boulder local’s review on Destination Wedding

September 9th, 2018
Destination Wedding

Hollywood gets things wrong all the time. Possibly the most common error made by writers, directors, producers, and the studio executives overseeing the whole thing? It’s that audiences need the main characters to be likable. That’s not correct, because for a film to succeed, your main character doesn’t have to be someone you’d want to have a beer with. They need to be interesting. The problem comes down to confusing sympathy with empathy. Think of it like this; with sympathy, you’re having a positive emotional reaction to someone else’s situation. In that situation, you like the main... Read More

Through the Looking Glass

September 2nd, 2018
Searching

If you’re reading this, you’re online. It’s physically impossible to read what I’ve written without having some kind of device like a smartphone or laptop, electricity to power your expensive doodad, and an online connection. What does the online experience give us? The power of connection. You can check your college roommate’s status on Facebook, look at your boyfriend’s hiking video on Snapchat, or tweet mean things at the President and his Large Adult Sons.* Are we really connected, though? By 1995, the internet became totally commercialized, and virtually all of us established some... Read More

Mile Twenty Poo

August 26th, 2018
Mile 22

Can we take a moment to talk about Mark Wahlberg?* If you’re in the mood for some whiplash, mosey on over to the IMDB and take a look at Wahlberg’s filmography. There, you’ll see an absolutely baffling assortment of films. Some of them are very good, like Three Kings, The Departed, and Boogie Nights. Some of them, like Max Payne, Planet of the Apes, and Shooter are certified Not Good. There’s no rhyme or reason to the trajectory of his career. It’s like he randomly throws darts at a dartboard to pick projects. Sometimes he makes a filthy and fun comedy like Ted. Sometimes he makes a piece... Read More

Champagne As Film

August 19th, 2018
Crazy Rich Asians

Am I really the right guy to be talking about representation? I know. I get it. In 2018, Mr. Straight White Dude is better off sitting down, shutting up, and passing the microphone to somebody who’s…well…not also a straight white dude. Still, I’m going to give it a shot, and let’s take a minute to talk about why real representation matters. As an aforementioned SWD, representation is 100% a non-issue for me. It never has been. I can see a movie, watch TV, or go online, and see hundreds of thousands of examples of SWD’s taking part of the vast tapestry of the human condition.... Read More

Infiltrate Hate

August 12th, 2018
BlacKkKlansman

Hate groups walk a very particular line, only they don’t know it. On the one hand, it wouldn’t be out of line to call members of the Ku Klux Klan and related organizations domestic terrorists. Entire seconds of research shows us a vast number of murders, lynchings, rapes, and attacks that are physical, emotional, and psychological in nature. On the other hand? There’s no other way to say it — they’re ridiculous. Grown-ass adults spending their time dressing up in sheets, using secret codes and goofball titles, and fervently believing the most nonsensical conspiracy theories possible.... Read More