You connect with someone; the chat is great, and you exchange phone numbers. After a text exchange or a phone call, you finally set a first date. A first date can be exciting, so why spoil it by doing the standard dinner and a movie? If you’ve been dating for any length of time, it may seem like you could go a lifetime without going on another coffee date or happy hour.  If you want to do something fun and different, there are some cool things to do that don’t cost a fortune and guarantee a good time! A twist on happy hour. Doing something fun and active is a great way to learn about your... Read More

I recently went on a date with a nice guy with whom I had quite a few shared interests.  During the course of the conversation, he mentioned that he didn’t have health care. I was a little surprised because in your 50s you start to have need for health care more than you did in your 30s and even 40s. When we parted company I noticed that he drove a very nice car and it made me think, why is health care such a low priority for him?  I never really thought that through however, because I started thinking downstream about a relationship with someone with no health care.  I considered what would... Read More

Psychology Today published an article about why dating advice is keeping us single.  In the introductory paragraph the article author Ken Page, a clinical social worker, says, “Most popular dating recommendations build on a fatally flawed concept: If you want to find your soul mate, make yourself more desirable. As useful as this might sound, it’s the kiss of death for true intimacy, because it leads us away from the most essential ingredient of all—authenticity.” In the end, this advice promises to bring you love, yet delivers insecurity and disappointment. If we try to be someone... Read More

After looking for the person of your dreams for what seems like an eternity, dating starts to wear thin. If dates cease to be fun, and meeting new people has turned into a grueling slog up the path of small talk and apathetic text exchanges, you are experiencing dating exhaustion. It is normal to be discouraged, but your dating energy should be mostly optimistic, and you should be somewhat excited about the prospect of new people.  If that’s not you, it might be time to take a dating break.  Here are some other signs of dating exhaustion. It feels like work.  As a person who does not enjoy... Read More

I read an article this week about a woman who ghosted a man after their first date. His response was to send her a bill for her half of the meal he paid for on their date. No matter what your opinion of either party’s actions, let me say that you should always treat other people as you would like to be treated. Responding to bad behavior with more bad behavior is immature, tacky and, unfortunately, the inappropriate privilege we’ve given ourselves in the age of social media. Don’t misunderstand! I’m not saying you have to respond to all who message you on a dating site.  ’m not saying... Read More

Breaking up is hard to do. So, why am I writing about breaking up with a jerk?  Because that is even harder to do.  Let me explain.  Breaking up with a nice person is hard, but you can count on them handling it properly – no bad behavior, inappropriate comments or angry outbursts.  A jerk, on the other hand, is selfish and mean and doesn’t want to let you go.  I’ve seen some advice, both good and bad, about breaking up with a jerk, and I hope to provide a map of the high road for ending things with your jerk. Social media break up is a no- no.  Don’t tell your jerk that you don’t... Read More

If I had a dollar for every time I read a dating profile that said “I don’t know what to say here” or “I don’t like to talk about myself,” I’d be a wealthy woman.  It is not difficult to say a few things about who you are and what you are looking for, but it does require a little thought.  Men who say they are just looking around or don’t know quite what they want get no attention from me.  So, what are the bones of a good dating profile?   Give a snapshot of who you are, how you live your life and the relationship you are seeking.  Here’s a formula for writing your profile. ... Read More

Most singles would probably consider themselves knowledgeable about dating, simply by virtue of exposure. By the time we are all adults, most singles have done quite a bit of dating. Our perceived experience as daters may or may not be real, because many of us are still using a traditional dating paradigm in the era of digital dating. Traditional dating rules don’t always work online. If you don’t know that dating online is different than it used to be, let me offer some tips for being a good online dater. Write something! Please write something on your profile AND in your emails. If I get... Read More

Competition is a good thing!  There are so many dating sites out there right now that you can, at the very least, find like-minded souls (think JDate or MeetMindful), or in the best of all possible worlds, find a very high level of selection (think OnlyFarmers).  Dating sites and apps are not one-size-fits-all.  Each site has pros and cons and it’s up to you to find that one that suits you. Here are some examples of where to find exactly what you’re looking for. Looking for something casual? The most well-known app for a casual situation is, of course, Tinder.   I would also recommend... Read More

In 1995, Match.com debuted as an online dating site for singles.  At that time, there was a stigma attached to meeting matches online vs. “the old fashioned way.”  Three years ago, when Tinder burst onto the scene, dating online had already become a widely accepted way of meeting your mate.  Just because online dating is available and acceptable, doesn’t mean dating is easier.  In fact, almost anyone who has done any online dating will tell you that it makes dating hard.  Many spend time endlessly emailing, texting, or messaging without ever meeting in person.  Remember the couple... Read More