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Posts Tagged With ‘ michael fassbender ’

 

Mister Movie Critic, You Could Have Saved The Audience

October 29th, 2017

Imagine, if you will, a brand-new car by Tesla. The world’s top engineers have been brought in to create a vehicle with maximum acceleration and driving range and the apex of functionality. The world’s most creative designers have crafted butter-soft leather around the steering wheel, seats that are the height of ergonomic perfection without sacrificing comfort, and a control panel that’s intuitive and informative. During a press conference to unveil this automotive marvel to the world, Elon Musk invites the media to witness a test drive. The driver sits in the vehicle, gently... Read More

Here There Be Xenomorphs

May 21st, 2017

In the universe of Star Trek, humanity is an essential part of the vast mosaic of creation, and a pioneering spirit of discovery lives on. In the universe of Star Wars, there’s a common thread of adventure, a belief that swashbuckling and derring-do will help to seize the day. In the universe of Alien, humanity is not wanted or needed. We’re exploring a hostile void where the reward for discovery is death, and compassion will get you killed.* Morality and intention don’t matter, only brute survival. Overall, I’m a pretty positive guy, but there’s something deeply... Read More

X-Cruciating

May 29th, 2016

In 1995, I saw The Usual Suspects in Denver. I was 20, a callow young punk, not even old enough to drink legally. Like most people that age, I was dumb as hell, not even smart enough to know how little I knew. However, walking out of The Usual Suspects, there were two things I knew for sure. It was an instantly iconic film and the guy who made it was one to watch. That guy was Bryan Singer, and for a while there, he made some genuinely interesting stuff. The Nazi-in-suburbia thriller Apt Pupil. Tom Cruise as a heroic German in Valkyrie. The Man of Steel as a creepy stalker in Superman... Read More

The Apple Of His Eye

November 1st, 2015

As I sit here writing this review, my iPhone rests on the desk next to me. It’s become a nearly indispensable feature of my life. I can view my hilariously low bank balance, check the weather, and catch up with friends living on the other side of the continent. I have access to a mind-boggling amount of information, and my iPhone has more computing power than Apollo 13. When I hold it in my hands, it feels comfortable, it feels right. I’m not necessarily sure that’s a good thing. My life was utterly changed by Steve Jobs. So was everybody else’s. The invention of the... Read More