You can glean a lot of information off the walls of a dive bar toilet. I read these with some interest because they often imply curious information about women, of which I am one. For instance, you can read the walls at 3 Kings and learn that Johanna is F–ing Hot. You can take a peek into the potties at Bar Bar and learn that their bartender s–ks d–k. At the Star Bar, by contrast, it’s beneficial to keep one’s nether regions well-aired, which is not information about women specifically, but may be helpful nonetheless. I have no way to verify these statements. But I did get... Read More

I sometimes feel like the universe wants me to be a lesbian, despite (as far as I can tell, after a great deal of introspection) my straight orientation. Many people, including multiple men I’m actually out on dates with–even literally in bed with! make of that what you will– have asked me if I’m really gay or bi. I have owned big, shaggy dogs. I wear corduroy pants and drive a Subaru Outback. I do not, however, have a side-shave haircut. I recently had a friendly chat with a woman at a networking group who suggested we get a drink at a later date. She was a fun conversant and I... Read More

I wish online dating apps had filters that were really useful. If I could type in “artist, athlete, ginger beard, and total weirdo” and get search results, I’d be a happy OKCupid camper. Unfortunately, “weirdo” isn’t yet a viable search term. (If it is, someone please let me know!) I have specific reasons for wanting each of the above items and I think that “artist” might be the most compelling. Artists interest me because the nature of their work and themselves constantly demands growth and change, reincarnation to support the new life continually developing out of the old one.... Read More