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Posts Tagged With ‘ j.k. simmons ’

 

Mister Movie Critic, You Could Have Saved The Audience

October 29th, 2017

Imagine, if you will, a brand-new car by Tesla. The world’s top engineers have been brought in to create a vehicle with maximum acceleration and driving range and the apex of functionality. The world’s most creative designers have crafted butter-soft leather around the steering wheel, seats that are the height of ergonomic perfection without sacrificing comfort, and a control panel that’s intuitive and informative. During a press conference to unveil this automotive marvel to the world, Elon Musk invites the media to witness a test drive. The driver sits in the vehicle, gently... Read More

Another Day of Sun

December 25th, 2016

I’ve always held musicals at arm’s length. I’m weak that way. Everybody has a blind spot when it comes to movies, a certain genre or actor that they just can’t stand. My wife’s aunt has an irrational hatred of Tom Hanks. Every time she sees him in a movie, she shakes her head and says something like, “Nobody is that nice. I bet he’s really a serial killer.” For years, that’s how I was with musicals. I can suspend disbelief when it comes to subterranean creatures menacing a group of spelunkers, or a sociopath dressing up as a bat and committing... Read More

Action-Packed Math

October 23rd, 2016

In the end, it’s all about the buy in. Maybe you can accept a grown man running around in an American flag costume smashing people in the face with an indestructible shield. Perhaps you absolutely can’t accept that, yet you’re okay with a Catholic married couple who are also ghost hunters. You might have a positive or negative reaction to a trailer. You might even hear just the premise of a film, and you make a split-second decision. It’s hard to say what we’ll accept when it comes to movies. My good friend Devila loudly and unapologetically scoffs whenever she... Read More