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Monthly Archives: July 2015

 

Short Man Syndrome

July 26th, 2015

  Let’s pretend, for a moment, that I have access to a time machine. My current self, ancient and decrepit, travels back to the Good Old Days when I was a youthful firebrand who prepared to bestride the world like a colossus. Upon meeting, Old Me says to Young Me, “Couple of things to tell you about the future. First, you’ll end up shaving your head to avoid looking like Larry from The Three Stooges.” Young Me is not impressed. “Ugh. So what else?” Old Me goes on. “There are no flying cars yet, and many people think Donald Trump is a viable candidate... Read More

A Nice Jewish Girl From North London

July 19th, 2015

Addiction is a bitch. There’s a number of reasons why, genetic, emotional, psychological, the list goes on. For me, one of the cruelest aspects of addiction is the removal of potential. When we’re born, we’re blank slates. The possibility exists that we can go anywhere, do anything. But some of us have a self-destructive streak, and over time, that potential is transformed into a fire. It exists only to consume, and whatever the addiction happens to be, all that matters is feeding the fire. Most of us know someone like that. Some of us are someone like that. Amy Winehouse was... Read More

Why Can’t We Be Friends?

July 12th, 2015

There’s one thing they never tell you about becoming an adult. Making friends is hard. When you become a parent? Making friends is really hard. Here’s an example. I work from home, so it falls upon me to handle school pickup for my kid. I’m one of the lone fathers to collect my kid at the end of the day, and probably 85% of our school pickup is handled by mothers. While waiting for the school doors to fling open and unleash a horde of rampaging children, I’ll occasionally make small talk with other parents. In a few instances, these conversations have created a quasi-friendship,... Read More

Did Samuel L. Jackson Lose A Bet?

July 5th, 2015

Samuel L. Jackson is one of the greatest actors ever to appear in motion pictures. Everybody knows this, and odds are, if you have a favorite movie, he’s in it. He was the soulful hitman Jules in Pulp Fiction. The tough as nails Nick Fury in the Marvel Cinematic Universe. The emerging supervillain Mr. Glass in Unbreakable. Mace Windu in the not very good Star Wars prequels. Go look at his IMDB page, and you’ll very quickly learn two things about him. 1) Jackson is an actor of astonishing talent who has worked in virtually every film genre. 2) He will appear in anything for money. For... Read More